Saturday, August 19, 2006


The Nasty Bits

Remember how life was so simple not so long ago? I mean, life before you got on the Internet. Perhaps you had a PC, but it just stood there all alone without any connection to the outside world. Once the Internet started to become popular, you hopped right on the bandwagon. Why not? Since the advent of the Web in the mid-1990s, the Internet has offered an unparalleled selection of information and entertainment, much of it being absolutely free. Going online seemed like such a no-brainer...

...but then you started to find out about the Nasty Bits. You know, stuff like spam, viruses, spyware, phishing scams, etc.. Too bad that you got your education almost as soon as you hooked your PC up to its first modem, because it sure was a big hassle to reinstall everything from the ground up to get rid of that virus. Having learned that lesson, you went out and put anti-virus software on your PC, and that worked alright until you let the anti-virus signature subscription lapse, reopening the door to all sorts of new viruses. Next, you got that email from eBay that informed you that your account information needed verification. It directed you to visit a Web page that then prompted you for stuff such as your credit card number. Too bad that it wasn't eBay that sent you that email, but a nasty impersonator who'd just managed to trick you into handing over the keys to your credit line. Through these and other experiences, you've learned that the Internet is a lot like a rose bush: lots of pretty flowers, but oh those thorns!

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And now, back to our program...

Sorry about the commercial interruption, but that's the price I pay for using a free blogging service. :-) Come to think of it, though, isn't The Wonder Drug a good example of an item that seems to have so many advantages BUT is chock-full of Nasty Bits that may shorten your life by years? What a pity that the thousands of (usually young) people who take up smoking every day are ignorant of the severity of the negative side-effects of their beloved habit?

Dear reader, the problem before us goes far beyond the inconvenient (Internet viruses, etc.) and the unhealthy (cigarette smoking). As a matter of fact, today's evangelical church is rife with teachings and movements that promise all sorts of wonderful benefits.

For instance, Rick Warren's Purpose-Driven movement promises both personal fulfillment and radical church growth. If half of what he promises is true, who wouldn't want to hop on his bandwagon? But what about the Nasty Bits? What about the formerly gospel-preaching churches that find themselves torn in two when the PDL program is introduced? What about the countless souls who attend PDL churches and assume that they are Christians because they made a decision, walked an aisle, or prayed a prayer? What of the compromises that are made to the clear and forthright preaching of the Gospel in order to not offend the seekers? Warren and his collegues obviously won't make mention of these Nasty Bits, but yet it's becoming all too obvious that evangelical movements such as PDL aren't as wonderfully peachy-keen as they claim to be.

So, let us beware of Wonder Drugs that promise nothing but good. Any product worth using or movement worth following will come with a frank admission of the difficult stuff: the cost. A medicine will tell you the side effects you may encounter while using it, and in the Gospel itself we find Christ and the Apostles warning us that there is a price to pay for believing on and following Christ. Although the benefits of The Wonder Drug aren't sufficient to outweigh its Nasty Bits, the side effects of many legitimate medications are worth enduring in order to reap the benefits they provide. Likewise, the Gospel is well worth following even though you and I are going to have to take up our respective crosses. To our sinful flesh, the Nasty Bits of the Gospel--denial of self, etc.--utterly pale in comparison to the innumerable benefits of that wonderful message. Whereas the Nasty Bits of the Internet require diligent caution and those of The Wonder Drug arguably warrant total abstinence, the thorns amidst the roses of the Gospel are well worth the pain and suffering they will inevitably provoke.

Saturday, July 01, 2006


Writer's block

When I started this blog over a year ago, one of my reasons for doing so was to improve my writing skills. Lately, I've been realizing that I've not made as much headway towards that goal as I'd like. Although I have the feeling that I'm not terribly successful in expressing my thoughts in writing, I've had trouble with diagnosing the problem, much less fixing it. I'm thinking that the only way I'm going to truly improve my writing is to find myself a mentor/"constructive critic" to read my work and offer suggestions on how I might improve. Although the written word affords me with countless examples of good writing, the art of how to go about putting the lessons I learn from good writing into practice is one that's largely unknown to me. At this point, I think my shortcomings lie in the area of rhetoric, so I may be doing some research on that subject to see if I can pick up some useful tips.

I say all this in order that I might solicit your prayers that the Lord (if He so wills) would raise up a mentor for me and/or help me improve my writing on my own, and to let you know that my posts will likely be sporadic until I come up with an approach to improve my skills.

Since I might not be posting all that much for the foreseeable future, you might just want to point your RSS reader to my RSS feed . That way, you'll see my new posts shortly after I post them without having to visit my blog via your Web browser.

Friday, June 23, 2006


"I am no card-player"

As a follower of Christ in this fallen world, I am a peculiar creature by definition, so I suppose I ought not be surprised when this person or that, noticing my rather atypical behavior, looks at me as though I'm a refugee from another planet. A number of years ago, I was talking with one of my co-workers about the movies we liked. I happened to comment that I like to pay close attention while I watch a film so I can get an accurate impression of the message it's trying to communicate. To this, my collegue scolded me for taking my entertainment far too seriously. For his part, he preferred to watch big, loud action flicks, turning off his mind and allowing his senses to wallow in the audio-visual extravaganza unfolding before him. How silly I was in his eyes to have any kind of serious purpose when I ought to be just kicking back and relaxing!

Several years have passed since that conversation, but I don't think I've loosened up very much. Now, I do think my sense of humor has improved (if I am to judge by how often and loudly my friends laugh at my not-so-wise cracks), but yet my outlook on life--both work and play--remains fundamentally serious. Mind you, I still like to have fun, but yet I continually bear in mind the fact that my life as a Christian ought to be more than fun and games. In view of Scripture's admonition to do whatever I do for the glory of God, it seems to be that I ought to have the purpose of pleasing God ever-present in my mind whether I'm worshipping in church, writing computer code at the office, or listening to music at home.

In contrast to the now-oriented, pleasure-oriented hedonism that's all around me, I suppose my serious worldview does make me a rather odd bird, so I find it to be reassuring that my plight is nothing new. In Jane Austen's novel Persuasion (published in 1818), we find that the heroine, Anne Elliot, thinks none too highly of the sociable frivolity of her day. Late in the novel, we find her reunited with Captain Wentworth, the naval officer whom she'd nearly married over eight years before:

Captain Wentworth left his seat, and walked to the fire-place; probably for the sake of walking away from it soon afterwards, and taking a station, with less bare-faced design, by Anne.

"You have not been long enough in Bath," said he, "to enjoy the evening parties of the place."

"Oh! no. The usual character of them has nothing for me. I am no card-player."

"You were not formerly, I know. You did not use to like cards; but time makes many changes."

"I am not yet so much changed," cried Anne, and stopped, fearing she hardly knew what misconstruction. After waiting a few moments he said, and as if it were the result of immediate feeling, "It is a period, indeed! Eight years and a half is a period."

Eight and one-half years had passed since Anne had been persuaded by a friend to break off her engagement to Wentworth, but even after all that time, Anne was still no card-player. In saying this, she didn't mean to imply that she never attended social engagements or that she enjoyed no amusements, but rather that her attitude towards life wasn't happy-go-lucky and frivolous. Although she was more than willing to make social engagements with those for whom she cared (such as an old schoolmate named Mrs. Smith), she saw no point in socializing for its own sake. In this conversation, Captain Wentworth was trying to discern whether Anne's recent attentions to him had been on account of formal politeness or sincere interest, so he was no doubt pleased to learn that Anne was "no card-player."

I wish that more people, especially Christians, exhibited our fictional heroine's seriousness of purpose, but all too many folks exhibit a tendency to treat the lighter side of life as though it was an end in itself. How many work and slave during the week primarily so they can afford to cut loose during the weekend? I think this pleasure-seeking ethos may be one factor behind today's platonic friendships which provide a man and woman with the pleasures of companionship without the responsibility of committment. If so, perhaps it ought to be no wonder to me that people don't know what to make of a peculiar person who believes that there is a higher purpose to life than that of having a good time.

Friday, June 16, 2006


Evaluating a suitable spouse

On several past occasions, I've expressed serious concerns about the wisdom of using one's emotions as a primary factor in making major life decisions, especially the matter of determining whether a member of the opposite sex would be a suitable marriage partner. Thus far, I think I've invested more verbiage in expressing my thoughts regarding what's unwise. Now, I'd like to share some thoughts I've had about how to properly go about evaluating a person for suitability. Since I'm a guy, I'll use my male prerogative and refer to the person under consideration with feminine pronouns. If you're a gal, I encourage you to reverse the gender of all pronouns as you see fit. :-)

  1. If you are single and you do not feel that God has called you to remain unmarried (in case of doubt, assume that He hasn't), make it your business to be looking for a spouse. Don't make it your top priority--laying up treasure in Heaven ought to be tops--but make it one of your highest temporal priorities.
  2. Suitability tests fall into two categories: (1) spiritual tests and (2) temporal tests. Place a substantially larger weight on spiritual tests compared with temporal tests. Spiritual tests ask, "According to Scripture, is this person a suitable spouse?" whereas temporal tests ask, "Is there a reasonable likelihood that I'll be able to conduct myself towards her in a God-honoring manner?"
  3. Consider everyone you meet who has any reasonable chance of being suitable. She must be a believer, and it would be best if she's substantially like-minded doctrinally, but if she appears to be willing to be taught and led wherever the Scriptures lead, you may be able to consider her further.
  4. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times and places, but pay the most attention when you're in a venue where you're most likely to meet a candidate. Your church or other places where reasonably like-minded Christians gather are the very best places to look. Personally, I wouldn't bother checking out a gal at Borders or Barnes and Noble unless I spy her in the Religion section intently poring through a tome by someone like Spurgeon, Sproul or MacArthur. :-)
  5. When you encounter somebody and have an opportunity to converse with her, make a mental note of your emotional reaction, but don't put too much trust in your emotions. Since we continue to struggle with remaining sin, our emotions can and do often mislead and deceive us. For my part, I've learned not to trust my emotions very much. They may tell me that a bad person is attractive or a good person is unattractive.
  6. Continue to pursue an acquaintance as long as you have a reasonable hope that she might prove to be suitable for you. Give her the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.
  7. If you discover something about her that fails one of the aforementioned spiritual tests, you ought to drop the acquaintance as soon as possible. Be kind and gracious, but GET OUT!!!
  8. If you run into a temporal issue that concerns you such as a habit or behavior that really annoys you, make a note of it, but prayerfully consider the issue before you decide to break off the acquaintance. Perhaps God will grant you grace to bear with her regarding this issue. Keep Christian liberty in mind: where God has not bound the believer's conscience in Scripture, the Christian is free.
  9. If you come to the decision that she would not be a suitable wife for you but yet you find that you enjoy her company and friendship, you may continue on as casual friends, but you are not free to continue as close "platonic" friends who spend a considerable amount of time together. Although you should by all means maintain a cordial relationship with her, you must not hinder her or yourself from the task of seeking out a suitable spouse.
  10. Take your time. Don't allow fear to rush you into a hasty decision to drop the acquaintance or marry the person.

OK, that's enough for now. I'll reserve the right to post further thoughts on the matter of proper courtship at a future time.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


Companionship without committment

When I posted on the subject of platonic friendships some time ago, I hardly suspected that that article would be one of the most commonly read articles on this blog. Apparently a lot of people are interested in the issue of non-sexual relationships between men and women. I hope that my article has shed some light on the less obvious dangers lurking beneath the surface of this seemingly innocuous type of relationship.

Since writing that article, I have become even more firmly persuaded of the great danger of maintaining a close friendship with a woman whom I'm unwilling or unable to marry. The situation is hardly better if I think the woman may turn out to be a suitable life-partner but she's made it plain that she's not interested in me in that way. In such a case, we may mutually decide to enjoy the benefits of a companionship without entailing the obligations of a permanent committment.

In the context of today's culture, this may seem to be a perfectly reasonable arrangement. For one thing, the advantages of companionship seem obvious. Personally, I much enjoy the time I can spend in conversation or various activities with another person. Although I can enjoy many pursuits on my own, having another person with me to share my enjoyment is nearly guaranteed to multiply my pleasure. It can be plenty nice to talk about this or that with another guy, but let's face it: it can be even nicer to spend time with a pleasant, attractive woman. So long as we stick to activities that are respectable and stay out of trouble, there's nothing wrong with that, right?

Although that sounds like a reasonable line of thinking, I think it's significant that it's so often older singles who get involved in such platonic arrangements. Perhaps they think, "I haven't yet found the man/woman of my dreams, so I may as well hang out with my friends until I do." There's nothing wrong with friendships per se, even friendships with the opposite sex, but yet in my life I've seen how I so long used platonic friendships as a means to enjoy the companionship that's best found in marriage without having to take on the duties and responsibilities attendant with the committment of that covenant bond. This seemed good and right to me for many years. With my platonic friends, I could enjoy the pleasant parts of an intimate relationship while avoiding the difficult stuff. In place of "for better or worse, for richer or poorer", I could pig out on cake and ice cream without having to eat my veggies.

How nice all this seemed for so long, but with maturity and a better understanding of God's Word, I see the irresponsibility that was lurking underneath my season of pleasure. Not only was I shirking any responsibility for my friends--enjoying the pleasure of their companionship without taking any true care for them--I was also enabling them to shirk their responsibility to seek a suitable husband. Thus, I was irresponsible both to myself and to my female friends.

Today, my understanding of what is proper in a male/female friendship is vastly different than it was in those days. If a woman is willing to consider me as a possible husband, should we prove to be suitable for each other, I will by all means want to spend as much time with her as possible so we can work together to find out whether or not we are indeed suitable. On the other hand, if I am convinced that she would not be a suitable wife for whatever reason, I am obliged to leave her free to focus her attention on men who may be more suitable for her. Although I would obviously want to remain on cordial terms with her, perhaps chatting with her in group contexts, I'm no longer going to take up substantial portions of her limited time and energy on being close friends with her. If my sister doesn't believe that I would be a suitable husband for her, I owe it to her to leave her free to search for a man who is. Until I find a woman who is suitable for me, I'm going to stick to casual acquaintances with my sisters in Christ, and my close friendships will be exclusively with my brothers in Christ. I am no longer willing to settle for the illusory pleasures of companionship without committment.

Friday, May 26, 2006


"Cast thy burden upon the Lord"

[An encouraging word from the Prince of Preachers that arrived in my inbox this morning. I hope you'll find it to be profitable. Dave]

"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee. - Psalm 55:22

Care, even though exercised upon legitimate objects, if carried to excess, has in it the nature of sin. The precept to avoid anxious care is earnestly inculcated by our Saviour, again and again; it is reiterated by the apostles; and it is one which cannot be neglected without involving transgression: for the very essence of anxious care is the imagining that we are wiser than God, and the thrusting ourselves into his place to do for him that which he has undertaken to do for us. We attempt to think of that which we fancy he will forget; we labour to take upon ourselves our weary burden, as if he were unable or unwilling to take it for us. Now this disobedience to his plain precept, this unbelief in his Word, this presumption in intruding upon his province, is all sinful. Yet more than this, anxious care often leads to acts of sin. He who cannot calmly leave his affairs in God’s hand, but will carry his own burden, is very likely to be tempted to use wrong means to help himself. This sin leads to a forsaking of God as our counsellor, and resorting instead to human wisdom. This is going to the "broken cistern" instead of to the "fountain;" a sin which was laid against Israel of old. Anxiety makes us doubt God’s lovingkindness, and thus our love to him grows cold; we feel mistrust, and thus grieve the Spirit of God, so that our prayers become hindered, our consistent example marred, and our life one of self-seeking. Thus want of confidence in God leads us to wander far from him; but if through simple faith in his promise, we cast each burden as it comes upon him, and are "careful for nothing" because he undertakes to care for us, it will keep us close to him, and strengthen us against much temptation. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee." - Charles Spurgeon

Saturday, May 20, 2006


A graciously timed interruption

On my list of pet peeves--that is, issues over which I tend to nurse a grudge--near the top of the list is receiving a phone call when I'm in the middle of working on some crucial task. Although it's not my nature to outwardly lash out at the source of the interruption, I do have a shameful tendency to inwardly grumble and wish that the interruption would be over post haste.

While mowing the lawn this afternoon, I ran over a branch that caused the belt that drives the lawn mower's self-propel mechanism, causing it to run somewhat amok. I recalled that such a problem is caused by the branch somehow causing the drive belt to come loose from the blade pulley, so I flipped the lawn mower to try to reseat the belt. My efforts to do so by hand were fruitless, so I went inside the house to seek out an appropriate tool. As I was doing so, my phone began to ring. It was my mom. In itself the purpose for her call was positive, but yet I found myself resenting the timing: after all, I had a non-functional lawn mower flipped over on its side out in the middle of the lawn, and I wanted to get it fixed. After a few moments, I asked her if I could talk with Mr. Fix-It aka my dad. He gave me some useful advice, then turned the call back to my mom. After I was done with her, he had another thought regarding my problem, and spoke to me again. He reminded me to remove the spark plug wire before trying to do anything more with the belt and pulley lest the engine start.

As my dad's words sank in, I began to realize that my mom's ill-timed phone call could not have been a better-timed mercy from the Lord. Had I not spoken with my dad, I would have (in my ignorance of mechanical things such as lawn mowers) continued to work on the belt and pulley with the spark plug connected. Had the motor started, at least one of my limbs would likely have been turned into mincemeat. Through this "ill-timed interruption", God spared me from very serious physical injury.

As I write, I'm very thankful that this gracious providence happened today--at a time when I rightly understand it as an undeserved mercy from God--instead of in my charismatic days, when I would have understood it to be a confirmation of my wonderful spiritual gifts and my special hotline to heaven. A sounder understanding of Scripture has allowed me to give the praise and thanks to the One to Whom it belongs.

After I finished mowing the lawn--with my body physically safe and sound, and the lawn mower operating flawlessly--I called my mom again to ask her forgiveness for how I often inwardly grumble when she calls and to offer my sincere thanks for calling at the time she did. I went on to explain that her call, far from being an untimely interruption, was in fact a wonderful mercy from God. In so doing, I hope I was able to give the glory to Whom it belongs.

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